I AM BUSY, I AM SORRY.
Note, 17 April 2026
This post was made by me, a human being, from earth, without any use of AI. Enjoy ッ
Writing this blog took longer than I expected. I was busy. I am sorry. I’ve been thinking about this concept for the last few months, and have been actively working on this in my personal life. This blog tells a little bit more about that.
The problem
The problem I have is quite simple actually. You might recognize it too. I enjoy doing stuff. I enjoy last-minute plans, going to the park with my friends, making music, working on any creative projects, how absurd they even might be, checking out that one new coffee-shop a friend recommended, being out in nature, looking at the stars, philosophizing about life. I genuinely enjoy life, and everything about it — and that might be my problem. I love experiencing life and all it has to give.
Saying “YES”.
I hate saying no. It has become a running joke among some friends, just ask Zias — he won’t be able to say no. This is something that on the one hand I love about myself: I love being the person with these crazy stories and experiences, just because I gave it a chance. I love being able to completely overhaul my planning to go on a trip, just because someone asked me two days beforehand. I love that I get myself in absurd situations, just because someone dared me — not because I have anything to prove to myself, or to others, but because I love it. I love saying YES.
Saying “NO”.
On the other hand I have begun to notice a certain pattern in my life. Whenever people ask me “How are you doing?” the first thing that comes to my mind is “busy”. Why is that? Do I really feel busy — am I really busy? I know that I am not unhappy, because I have all of these amazing things to do, stories to tell, and am surrounded by amazing friends. So why is this the first thing that comes to mind?
I have started to notice that wherever I am, I have been thinking about what I could be doing instead. “If only … was here”, “… would find this hilarious”, “If I leave now I can still make it to …”. Every invite I get is a little dopamine shot making me want to get up on my feet and go. How do I navigate this? How can I enjoy the moment I am in right now, without always thinking about the next? Because where I am at, right now, is already worthwhile on it’s own.
About being present
This is something that I have been working on over the past few months — and will most probably continue for the rest of my life. It starts with something really small: whenever someone asks me “How are you doing?” I try to consistently answer “happy to be here”. Doing this over the past few months has started to change my personal mindset. I have started to really appreciate the place I am in right now. And although I am still learning, I feel like making this small change — and just actively being aware of this personality trait of myself, has made me more present.
Does this mean that I am never unhappy, or would rather be somewhere else, or skip to the next chapter? Of course not! But it also doesn’t mean that I never do something spontaneous anymore — as I told you in the start: I love doing stuff and having stories to tell! It does mean that wherever I am, I try to focus on that moment, not the next. I try to be more aware of the greatness of each little moment. Because if I don’t, it would all be for nothing.
The pursuit of happiness
If you have watched The pursuit of happiness, you’ll most probably remember the iconic singular moment of happiness. But the more I rewatch this movie, the more I start to notice that somehow, someway Chris Gardner (played by Will Smith, the main character) is able to create happiness wherever he goes. Whatever the situation he finds himself in, he is able to let his kid experience some form of joy. This is what I long for in my personal life. Go rewatch this movie right now! It is beautiful, and one of my faves :))
I want to encourage you to be more intentional of each moment. What I mean by this is that I want you find happiness and beauty wherever you are. I am beginning to notice that the being aware of an amazing moment is more important than chasing the next, without looking back. Because if you are unable to look back, you might miss it and get stuck in the endless flow of life.
So just stand still, and be grateful for the great smallness of life.
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”